How Abuse Changed My Life…For the Good!

I’m the mother of an abused child. 

While the abuse happened outside my home and far from my view or awareness, it often feels as if I carry full responsibility. I struggle with guilt and, if I’m honest, sometimes I struggle will condemnation.  These things aside, however, I can look back and tell you at LEAST three ways it changed my life for the better. I hope someone can be encouraged by this.. that there is truly light that pierces the darkness when we place our hope in Christ.

So, what good could possibly come from such a horrendous thing? Read on, my friend:

1. A Renewed Awareness

Some may think this isn’t necessarily a positive thing, but I am convinced it is. Like it or not, the statistics of child sexual abuse are horribly astounding. Before I walked through the shadows with my child, I had very little idea to the extent of it. But now, I am fully aware that there are hundreds, thousands of people that we see day to day.. that are either being abused, were abused, or are the abuser. (Not to say it is everyone we see and walk past..but chances are, they are somewhere around you daily)

Because I am now fully aware of the evil that permeates this world, I now have something powerful that I didn’t have before.. which leads me to #2

2. A Deep and Burning Passion for the Abused

My heart has been ignited in a way I never thought possible. Because I am now aware of the pain around me, I have such a passion to make a difference. To help. To shine a light. To spread a word of hope. I have DETERMINED to use whatever days I have on this earth to make a difference in the world of abuse!

Do I know how I’m going to do it? Nope. Will I help Hundreds? Maybe not… but honestly, if I can help one person, I will be so very glad.

There is hope in this. There is good in this if we will be willing to see it.

3. A Better Relationship with my Kids

While I have to refuse to feel guilty for my child’s abuse, I did intentionally learn a lesson from it: There is always room for growth in relationships. Since the incident of finding out what happened to my child, I have made all 4 of them my ministry, if that makes sense. I am more intentional with them, I am more careful (maybe sometimes TOO careful, if you ask them), and I have this new level of love and appreciation for their lives. I recognized that I may not be able to be there with them during some dark moments, as much as I desire to be. But what I can do is try to instill a solid foundation within their minds and hearts: They are loved, adored, cared for, and constantly lifted up to the Father.

While I will NEVER make light the destruction of abuse, I long to be an encouragement for others who may be walking this ugly, dark, painful road. I am still learning to live with the agony of it all and I, too, still need encouragement. I hope these words will offer at least a glimpse of hope.

You are loved, cared for, and seen. And there is hope and light, despite the thick darkness that may surround you.

I’d love to hear from you! Have you seen good come out of anything horrible in your life? Or, could you use prayer for anything in specific?

Categories Abuse, Hope and Healing, UncategorizedTags , , ,

6 thoughts on “How Abuse Changed My Life…For the Good!

  1. Reblogged this on Christian Mommas and commented:
    Every parent should read Sandie’s blog. She discusses her experience as a mom of an abused child and offers ways to both prevent child abuse and heal after child-abuse takes place. Please read her blog and pass it on. I do not go days without declaring over the little one “you will not be raped or molested, you will not be sexually perverted”. My little one is only two and he already knows to say “No, stop it” when someone touches his private areas. I cannot count the number of times I have cried for abused children and felt a righteous indignation against child abusers. So, I pray and create more awareness by sharing posts like this. Join me in praying and raising more awareness. Child abuse is real and we must fight!

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Hi Sandie. Thank you for sharing. I’m in the process of letting my inner little girl write her own story after finally being allowed to find her voice. She’s been writing her story for over 4 years now and I’m hoping it will be published by the end of the year. It truly is such a big issue and I thank God that He was with me and with your little girl and, as you say, God can bring good out of all the mess that happens in our lives if we give it over to Him.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Hi Dawn. Thank you for reading!
      Praying for you as God heals and restores your heart. You are not alone, friend, and He makes everything beautiful in its time.

      Liked by 2 people

  3. Hugs ma’am. I appreciate that you are drawing an inner strength from this and leaning forward. And being a medium for the change we desire in our present world today, regarding child abuse. ❤

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you! We can change the statistics together 🙂 thanks for reading

      Liked by 1 person

      1. You are welcome. Yes!.
        I do agree. 🤗🤗

        Like

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