I’m the mother of an abused child.
While the abuse happened outside my home and far from my view or awareness, it often feels as if I carry full responsibility. I struggle with guilt and, if I’m honest, sometimes I struggle will condemnation. These things aside, however, I can look back and tell you at LEAST three ways it changed my life for the better. I hope someone can be encouraged by this.. that there is truly light that pierces the darkness when we place our hope in Christ.
So, what good could possibly come from such a horrendous thing? Read on, my friend:
1. A Renewed Awareness
Some may think this isn’t necessarily a positive thing, but I am convinced it is. Like it or not, the statistics of child sexual abuse are horribly astounding. Before I walked through the shadows with my child, I had very little idea to the extent of it. But now, I am fully aware that there are hundreds, thousands of people that we see day to day.. that are either being abused, were abused, or are the abuser. (Not to say it is everyone we see and walk past..but chances are, they are somewhere around you daily)
Because I am now fully aware of the evil that permeates this world, I now have something powerful that I didn’t have before.. which leads me to #2
2. A Deep and Burning Passion for the Abused
My heart has been ignited in a way I never thought possible. Because I am now aware of the pain around me, I have such a passion to make a difference. To help. To shine a light. To spread a word of hope. I have DETERMINED to use whatever days I have on this earth to make a difference in the world of abuse!
Do I know how I’m going to do it? Nope. Will I help Hundreds? Maybe not… but honestly, if I can help one person, I will be so very glad.
There is hope in this. There is good in this if we will be willing to see it.
3. A Better Relationship with my Kids
While I have to refuse to feel guilty for my child’s abuse, I did intentionally learn a lesson from it: There is always room for growth in relationships. Since the incident of finding out what happened to my child, I have made all 4 of them my ministry, if that makes sense. I am more intentional with them, I am more careful (maybe sometimes TOO careful, if you ask them), and I have this new level of love and appreciation for their lives. I recognized that I may not be able to be there with them during some dark moments, as much as I desire to be. But what I can do is try to instill a solid foundation within their minds and hearts: They are loved, adored, cared for, and constantly lifted up to the Father.
While I will NEVER make light the destruction of abuse, I long to be an encouragement for others who may be walking this ugly, dark, painful road. I am still learning to live with the agony of it all and I, too, still need encouragement. I hope these words will offer at least a glimpse of hope.
You are loved, cared for, and seen. And there is hope and light, despite the thick darkness that may surround you.
I’d love to hear from you! Have you seen good come out of anything horrible in your life? Or, could you use prayer for anything in specific?